Madness of an Eggbaby
by BatTitan
Summary: One-shot. So what would have happened if Bruce actually agreed to keep the eggbaby while Terry went out on patrol? Warning: randomness will ensue. Set in the episode "The Eggbaby." Rated T for language, just to be safe.


**Madness of an Eggbaby**

**What can I say? I was just so interested as to how this would turn out.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, not Terry, not Bruce, not Batman Beyond, not Clair de Lune, not even Disney. And if I did own Disney...let's just say that High School Musical would never have existed.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

"I tried to give it to my mom, but she said she was too young to be a grandma. And I left it with Matt, but when I came back, he was shooting rubber bands at it." Terry brightened up. "Hey, you think you could-?" Bruce stopped the boy with a glare. Terry responded in the only way he could: he gave Bruce the saddest look he could muster. The old man's stern look dropped in a matter of seconds.

"Just for tonight." Terry beamed and left to change into the suit as Bruce eyed the basket where the eggbaby rested warily. The things he did for that boy.

"What do I do with it?" he demanded as Terry returned.

"Uh...just keep it quiet?" Terry shrugged. "'Course, if you want to play with it..." His suggestion was met with a glare. "Right, forgot who I was talking to." Bruce rolled his eyes before turning back to the monitor. "Besides, I gave it a double feeding and changed it. It should be in Nap City for hours."

A mechanical giggle caught the two Bats' attention and they turned to find Ace licking the eggbaby as its face showed an expression of glee. Bruce turned to glower at Terry, who chose that time to make a quick exit. Bruce shot a sharp look at the eggbaby as it continued to giggle cheerfully.

"This is all your fault," he told it.

It made a strangely realistic cooing noise before falling silent. Ace had apparently taken it upon himself to guard the robot, for the dog had lain down in front of the basket, placing his head on his paws and watching the eggbaby intently.

"Don't waste your time on it," Bruce advised as Ace looked up, his large brown eyes wide in confusion. "It's just a toy."

Ace merely blinked and returned to studying the eggbaby. Bruce sighed; some man's best friend _he_ had. The instant Ace found a new toy, he abandoned his master completely.

* * *

Bruce sighed, feeling a headache forming. The eggbaby had given up being silent only a few minutes after it had shut up, giggling madly as Ace sniffed at it curiously. The dog still hadn't gotten over the novelty of the computerized toy.

_"How's the egg?"_ Terry's voice came over the commlink. If Bruce hadn't known better, he would have classified the boy's tone as concerned.

"You sound as if I dropped it off a cliff," he commented, trying not to sound too insulted.

_"With you, I can never tell,"_ Terry shot back casually and Bruce held back a smile. The old man was actually beginning to enjoy the small arguments he and Terry exchanged over the commlink. For one, it improved his protégé's vocabulary. For another, it kept both of them entertained when no activity was ongoing.

Not that Bruce would ever consciously admit the second reason, though.

"It's awake, still giggling, Ace is keeping an eye on it," he reported, then frowned as the eggbaby cooed from behind him. "Any way to shut it up?"

_"You can always put it to sleep. Holding it still usually does the trick, but apparently music helps, too."_ The video feed in the next instant was a blur of motion as Terry shrugged his shoulders.

"There is no way I'm singing to that _thing_," Bruce growled.

_"Right, you only save it for Amazonian princesses,"_ Terry chuckled and Bruce's eyes widened.

"Excuse me?" Terry gulped audibly.

_"Nothing."_

"Who told you about that?" Bruce demanded.

_"Uh..."_

"I have J'onn on speed-dial."

_"It was Flash!"_ Terry blurted out.

"I see." Bruce calmly logged into his email and sent a single audio file to a certain former Scarlet Speedster. Two minutes later, he checked his inbox to find a reply to his message.

_**From:** Wally West_

_**To:** Bruce Wayne_

_**Subject:** WHAT THE HELL?!_

_DAMMIT, BRUCE! YOU SENT A SPICE GIRLS SONG TO ME! WHY?! What did I ever do to you?! ...don't answer that. I'll get you for this, Bats. And your little dog, too! ...just for the heck of it._

Bruce smirked, rather proud of his achievement in annoying Wally, before starting a reply.

_**From:** Bruce Wayne_

_**To:** Wally West_

_**Subject:** Re: WHAT THE HELL?!_

_That was payback for telling McGinnis about the singing incident with Diana. Glad you enjoyed the music. And Ace is hardly "little."_

He sent the email and turned back to the eggbaby, which was still giggling.

"Shut up." It cooed, blinking innocently, and he exhaled slowly, willing himself not to throw the thing across the cave. It would not do for Terry to panic over the robot, since it _was_ his project for school.

_"Are you talking to the baby?"_ Terry snickered.

"Shut up," Bruce repeated eloquently. As the laughter grew louder, he sighed and switched off the commlink, going over to pick the eggbaby up. Ace whined his discontent when his new toy was removed from its basket, but Bruce could care less about that. He set it to the side of the computer and pulled up an audio file.

_Clair De Lune _immediately started playing. The baby stopped giggling at last, staring at the Batcomputer screen with wide eyes, but didn't fall asleep.

_"Are you actually playing music to get the eggbaby to sleep?"_ Terry asked in surprise and Bruce looked up at the screen, mildly confused. Apparently, he hadn't turned the commlink off the whole way.

"Were you joking about that?" Bruce needed to know whether to kill Terry or not.

_"No, it really does fall asleep to music. But not classical. Try Disney songs,"_ Terry suggested. _"So far, it's fallen asleep to_ A Whole New World _and _Go the Distance_."_

"Do you actually think I have Disney songs on the computer?" Bruce pointed out, raising an eyebrow.

_"You have _everything_ on the computer,"_ Terry shot back.

"...touché." Terry chuckled before returning his attention to patrol. Making sure to turn off the commlink all the way, Bruce searched through the computer's files to find a Disney song. He only found an instrumental track for _Go the Distance_. Absently, he wondered how that had gotten there.

_Wait, never mind. Robin had been obsessed with karaoke for a few months, _he recalled. That had been an odd three months with Tim running around the Manor singing Disney songs. The boy had even gotten Nightwing to join in the singing during patrol once. Bruce and Barbara had been exasperated with the two by the time patrol was over that night.

Refusing to let himself dwell on the past, Bruce reluctantly pulled up the instrumental track for _Go the Distance_. Better that than no music at all.

_"I have often dreamed_

_Of a far-off place..."_

* * *

Bruce was rather pleased at the fact that he could still sing. Not that he would share that with anyone, though.

At least the eggbaby had fallen asleep and finally shut up.

_"Nice vocals, Wayne," _Terry's voice echoed around the cave. Bruce's eyes widened once again.

"I was positive I shut it off this time," he muttered, checking the switch for the commlink to find that it was indeed off.

_"Yeah, I figured out how to disable that,"_ Terry admitted.

"That's it. Project be damned, I'm throwing that egg of yours off a cliff."

_"NOOOO!"_

* * *

_For those who are concerned, the eggbaby survived. Terry caught it in the Batmobile just as Bruce threw it over the cliff's edge._

_However, he _did _have to run for his life when he returned to the top of the cliff and saw Bruce's glare._

_His eggbaby earned him a passing grade because of the emotional stimulation it had (apparently, being thrown off a cliff is emotionally stimulating)._

_Barbara Gordon, Dick Grayson, and Tim Drake were nearly in tears of laughter when told this story by Wally West._

* * *

**LOL! So Terry still passed the project. I love him too much to fail him XD. Ignore the random scenes, I just wrote this when I was supposed to be studying for my Biology final. R&R!**


End file.
